A little down time

It seems like life has been go, go, go ever since moving. The summer was spent moving in and getting acclimated and kicking my booty into better shape. Then came Oregon, then Washington, then girls' weekend in Minnesota.

I just got back Sunday night after a hellish return flight (the short story= delayed flight by an hour, then a "weight critical" aircraft which caused 4 people to get kicked off the plane, 30 min longer delay, middle seat that didn't recline because the button was broken, then a missed exit on the way home...home at 2:20 am which was 4:20 am minnesota time). But the weekend was wonderful. Seeing my college girls always leaves me feeling refreshed and loved. I am blessed.

And the next trip I have isn't until mid-December when I will be in Devon's wedding in NC.

So for now I am at home dealing with my doggie. Down time. And time being down. :( Art had been acting funny back at the end of September. Took him to the vet and he had a terrible ear infection and a gum issue. By the end of that same week he was SOOOOO much worse and exhibiting very non-Arthur behavior--hanging his head down low, barely walking around, yelping. It was pretty sad to see especially when I had no idea what was wrong. Second vet visit pinpointed the pain to his neck. Steroid shot, loads of pills...he was doing better.

This week he was back to feeling poorly. Went to a specialist today and we are kind of in a holding pattern until we can get him a CT scan, but he yelped loudly in the office as she messed with his neck. Poor guy. It breaks my heart every time I hear that noise. He is such an amazing creature and has shown me so much unconditional love in the 6 years he has been my buddy. I like my dog more than I like most people. He is always there with a wagging tail and a toy in his mouth. He tries to sit on my lap when I'm on the floor (even though he weighs 71 lbs.) and loves to cuddle. I love coming home to his wrinkly face.

So I'm hoping the docs can help him not be in pain. For now, he's back to being on lots of drugs. He got a methadone shot today--hardcore stuff for my baby. :( I just want him to be comfortable and healed.

My coffee cup from Caribou said "be the person your dog thinks you are." I think that's a pretty good goal. Arthur loves me no matter what--and I feel the same, buddy!

Apples to oranges: the mental fight against comparison

I was sitting by the pool at the gym a few weeks ago with my boyfriend and randomly asked him, "do you compare yourself to other guys very often?". He thought about it, and said "no, not really". I have often wondered about this and if it really is a female phenomenon. I know that personally I compare myself to those around me all the time even though I know I shouldn't. It just happens. Especially at the gym I look around and think, "ugh, her legs are soooo skinny!" and torment myself with unhealthy comparisons.

I honestly don't know why I do this so much. It is not a conscious thing. And I know it is not a good thing. What standard am I trying to live up to? Is it the Victoria's Secret model who barely has hip bones? Because if so, I am NEVER gonna get there. I looked in the mirror in the suite in English hall one day my sophomore year and realized I had hips. Ugh!! Why? Ha. But since then--no going back..I've got hips. Gotta live with it.

How good is good enough? Will I ever stop comparing myself if I am not consciously doing it to begin with? I'd like to try. In the last few months I have tried desperately to rid my life of negativity and to find the good in the situations around me. It is definitely not always easy. But I know these negative thoughts about myself and my body are not right.

So now I am standing up to make an effort to stop the thoughts before they are something I focus on. It is going to be hard. We are inundated with advertisements and models on magazine covers and celebrities claiming it is easy to lose baby weight (this is a bridge I have not crossed yet but I know it's not true unless you have full-time nannies and a personal trainer and a chef ;)).

I am who I am. I can tweak and adjust and maintain a healthy lifestyle. But I cannot buy a bone shaver and get rid of my hips even though I have day dreamed about it. So this is me. And I am going to try to look in the mirror with fresh eyes. Who is with me?

One with Napa...and nature

Napa is beautiful. You can't deny that. Sunday was a Black Chicken Society get-together at Biale. "What is the Black Chicken Society?" you might ask. Well, during prohibition people would call Biale and ask for eggs and (for example) 6 black chickens. It was code for their wine. :) I love that kind of history story. Interesting! So they call their wine club the Black Chicken Society and it makes me feel special to belong to it. Their porch is great for a day of wine tasting with friends. The scenery is spectacular. But Sunday was a special event. All the members were able to taste 10-12 different wines and have appetizers in the back warehouse area of the winery. There was even an accordion player. We took a lovely stroll through the vines and got some fun pictures.

God sure created some beauty in this world. Oregon and now Napa have really made me stop and admire creation. I think it's a wonderful reminder to soak it all up!

I am in love with someone else...

And her name is Oregon. States are female like countries are, right? ;)

I had the privilege of joining my baby on a roadtrip to Oregon to meet his family last week. I had never been further north than where I am sitting right now (northern California). As we drove I kept saying "this is the furthest north I've been....now THIS is the furthest." I'm sure that wasn't obnoxious at all.

We went Friday-Wednesday (8 hour drive with a stop on the way home to check out Crater Lake). It is just so amazingly beautiful in Oregon. I don't know how someone could not fall in love. Especially when you grow up in the flatlands of Indiana! :) Indiana is pretty---but this is different for sure. Arthur was a great sport and had a blast playing with his new girlfriend Bella (cousin's dog) and his new pal Buddy (parents' dog). He was exhausted and played musical chairs all over the furniture in the house (to my chagrin! naughty!). Seriously, every time we would go into the living room he would be on a different piece of furniture. Wonder what goes through his mind. Ha.

Got to meet mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, and cousin's wife! So here are pics. His family is great (I shouldn't be surprised...and I'm really not). It was wonderful to relax, hike, talk, eat. Pics are out of order but I don't feel like reorganizing. :)

A family hike around Todd Lake

The view of Mt. Bachelor from Todd Lake

A little sibling luv

The boys by Crater Lake on the drive home

Playing around at Ponderosa Pizza in La Pine, OR (where he grew up)

Grandma and Elicia at the dog park on Sunday afternoon...adorable

Art, Buddy and Bella resting at the dog park

Todd Lake--almost all the way back around

Tony and Becca at Todd Lake...awww

Wizard Island at Crater Lake...a dad close by kept telling his son that was where Harry Potter lived. It was slightly annoying. :)

Grandpa trying on the HD sunglasses :)

Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, Buddy!

A walk around Drake Park in Bend

Aunt Laurie and the momma by Todd Lake

Driving to Crater Lake...Art the great adventurer!

Rock climbing at the dog park

Tried to get Arthur to do this same pose...it didn't work ;)

Paparazzi shot the sis took by Todd Lake

My hair looks SO red in this pic! Haircut was brand new...thanks Elicia.

Family shot after hiking up Pilot Butte for sunset

A quick pose after girls' day with Elicia

Little Deschutes in La Pine

View from the restaurant on girls' day

Buddy kisses in the yard

Hanging out on the ski lift...such a view!

feet on the ski lift at Mt. Bachelor

Mt. Bachelor

We survived the ski lift...up and back! His aunt said she'd never taken it down the mountain--me being the non-skier I am said like a genius, "how did you get down?" the answer: SKI! :)

Art cuddling with Laurie--what a lap dog

Art on the bridge at Drake Park-- he was off leash quite a bit this trip and did great for a city dog.

Got this pic in a text from Elicia while we were out at dinner...it just said "busted!"

Note to parents:

I wrote this on Tuesday on my flight...just now getting a chance to post it.

The lost art of courtesy and manners--

When I was a child, I knew to act a certain way. My parents, more specifically my mother, ingrained in me a sense of what is acceptable behavior and what is the right way to treat those we encounter.

This morning as I traveled, I was reminded that many parents are failing their children in this aspect. While on the Airtrain traveling to my terminal at SFO, a little boy rolled his suitcase right over my pinky toe. Youch! I am in flip-flops. Maybe he didn't notice, but his mom saw me wince and said nothing. Nothing to me and nothing to her son.

Our flight was delayed, and I had a rather pleasant conversation with a fellow traveler while we waited to begin boarding. She was around my age AND has a boxer. She also worked at Starbucks and went to a small liberal arts college. Ha. Small world.

As we lined up to board, Southwest style, another little boy walked past me to get to his dad. He bumped into my arm causing my purse to swing violently and then smack back into my side. No reaction whatsoever. Not from him. Not from his dad. It Is a sad reality, this sense of "I'm the only person who matters". It is a mentality that sadly seems to run deep.
The south to me will always be a place that handles manners well. Yes, being called "ma'am" in my teens seemed a bit premature, but at the same time, respecting other people in your world is nice to see.

Growing up, going out to eat was a rare treat. My grandparents would take us on Friday nights--not every week, but it was something we looked forward to a great deal. One Friday (I don't remember where we were) I had to go to the restroom mid-meal. I was old enough to go on my own, but small enough to fit under the table. As I walked
past my mother after ducking underneath the table, she pulled me to her and said "I don't want to see you ever do that again. You are out at a restaurant, and it is impolite to go under the table. Next time I want to see you say 'excuse me' to the person beside you. Understand?". I nodded. At the time, I remember thinking "what's the big deal?" but it still had a way of sinking in. I get it now. She was setting a precedent. Going under the table was not proper. I needed to know how to act when we were out around other people.

When my mom visited LA last Christmas, we went out to eat at a nice Mexican restaurant. It was my mom, my sister and myself. I sat on the bench seat that ran the length of the restaurant (essentially everyone on that wall was seated on the same bench). The table next to us was about 5-7 feet away. At that table sat a mom and dad and a little girl of about 4. Unfortunately for our dining experience, the parents wanted to be on a date. The little girl was ALL over the place the entire meal. She ran across the bench seat to our table at least 15 times yelling "hi," and then giggling. I love kids. I said hello the first two times--then it got irritating. This was not her fault. For one she obviously needed attention and wasn't getting it from her parents who were mesmerized and staring at each other like teenagers. Love is beautiful. Enjoy your date---just decide whether that means you should maybe leave your daughter at home with a babysitter! Secondly, she was obviously not taught how to behave at a restaurant. The little girl ran under
a large sculpture that was suspended from the ceiling nearly tipping 2 waiters on her way there and back.
Finally they were ready to go home. One problem--by this point, the little girl's shoe was missing. Guess where
her dad eventually found it? Oh ya, 6 feet away under our table where it must have fallen off during one of her
"hello" drive-bys.Saying "thank you" and "please" and "excuse me" should be taught as a way to respect those around you. I would say my generation isn't great at this. But I think the generations that have followed are even worse. We have to make it a priority to teach manners. How does this generation talk so much about being "disrespected" in the midst of being completely disrespectful in life?! It makes no sense.

People matter. Our actions have consequences. For this reason I have begun to yell at traffic differently. My go-to phrases are "hurry, darling" or "that was a poor choice". :). This is more for me than anyone else. No one can hear me from the safety of my own vehicle. But I feel more polite and less angry. It is the small things. Granted part of this might be that I have moved out of LA (traffic central) and to the bay.

So I guess my point is to start small with your kids. Explain that if we want to be treated a certain way, we have to treat others that way too. Do unto others as you would have done to you. Seems simple. Make it second nature to them. Lead by example. I have tried to do this with the little humans in my life up to this point (nanny jobs and babysitting). And when it is my own children I will up the ante.

I realize just how much responsibility this is for parents, but who else is going to instill this in your children? I don't think it is worth waiting until they go to school. Train up a child...right? Right!

The me me me mentality just has to go away. It is a terrible way to function. I have been trying to push myself to be less snarky and put myself in other people's shoes (especially when they are cute shoes)...

July---seriously, already?

I can't believe how fast this summer is FLYING. I guess that's what happens when you move and start a new chapter of life and people want to come visit you. :)

I'm loving the area. Loving our new bikes...and the chance to ride on all these trails up here. We joined a gym and that's been great. More about that later---

4th of July was fun up here. It was our 3rd 4th...you follow? :) But this was the first time we saw fireworks together strangely enough. We wandered all over the city (my pedometer was clocking 19,342 by the time we got back). And we lucked out and had an amazing view for the fireworks over the water in San Francisco. Not having to drive is really still wonderful to me--less gas, less time in the car period...less frustration. Less is more in this case! BART rules! ;)

Excited for the 4th...ready to head to the city!

First time at Gott's at the ferry building. Yum!

This pic is just something we stumbled upon in a park---a fun group (they sure looked fun anyway) were having races carrying people on their backs. This guy won. :) He was really booking it!

Taking a moment against a sculpture....

All in all, it was a lovely 4th of July. I'm always reminded of my Grandma Gerty on the 4th because that is the day she passed away. Love ya, Gerty! :)

Thank you for being a friend....

Figured that title was fitting with the sad passing of Rue McClanahan (aka Blanche from the Golden Girls).

As I sit here in my new house (wow), I'm reflecting on all the people that got me here. (Picture the acceptance speech from Clueless for the most tardies...). :)

Thank you to the Nagle/Fassler family for boxes and packing paper! Sorry I couldn't make it over for one last organizing job! My own life was chaos, and I needed an organizer. Ha.

Thank you to the Durdens for boxes and tons of emotional support. Cathy gets an extra special shout-out as the Durden who came over to help me unload the POD. She has two kids (one of whom is less than 3 months old) and still came over to carry some stuff armed with a venti iced soy vanilla latte for me! That alone deserves oodles of shout-outs. :)

Thank you to my sis, Jen, and Katie D. for emotionally supporting me last Friday as I packed many many things in bubble wrap. They fed me too. :) And they put babies in my purse.

Thank you to the people at my bye-bye brunch at Hugo's...KT, Jen, and Anne. And waiter David! It was great to go out with some yummy strawberry chai spice pancakes. The mimosa didn't hurt either. ;)

Thank you to my bosses...who gave me a job that was really really hard to physically walk away from even though I'm still a long-distance employee. :) I couldn't help but think back to a time 5 1/2 years ago when I left a job in the entertainment management industry and had to hold myself back from skipping to my car for fear of being seen feeling so happy to leave. This time, there were hugs and well wishes, and I shed some tears. It was nice.

Thank you to my co-workers who are both kicking booty at picking up the slack I left behind. Obviously being 5 hours away, I can't do those daily errands that were a part of my routine. They both supported me with the move even though I've made their lives more difficult by leaving. Thanks!!

Thank you to the Coffeys for helping move furniture and for being great friends! It was so nice to have a bbq to go to the very first week of living here. :)

Thank you to my boyfriend for being on my team for this move. It's an adventure, that's for sure!

Thank you to my dog for being such a good sport during one of his least favorite things in the whole world! He hates loud noises, boxes, bubble wrap, tape, empty places, crowded places....um, pretty much everything associated with a move! :) But he's been a good boy. And guess what, Art---I'm going to be home with you during the day for at least the first month! Prepare to be spoiled! :)

There are many others who have helped me whether they have known it or not make it through this move without feeling too stressed. I worked literally until Friday at 7 and the POD was packed up Saturday morning. There was not much time to see everyone I wanted to see. But this is the start of something good. And I'm excited.

THANK YOU. That is all.

Looking forward and looking back

To put into words all that is happening and what I am feeling is really escaping me...

As my time in Los Angeles wraps up, I am so busy I almost can't think about what this weekend brings. A new town, a new way of doing my job, new friends (while maintaining the old ones of course!), new opportunities. It's just exciting...mixed in with sad. But mainly exciting.

There are definitely things I will miss about LA. I have almost been here 6 years and I have changed so much in that time. Molly at 24 and Molly at 30 are very different creatures. :)

My first LA months were quite scary but also kind of fun. I knew one other person here because KT was still in Atlanta working on a movie. Rada (thank God, I had you!) and I would sit on our air mattress in our living room and watch Buffy dvds at night because we were new to the city, poor, and had no furniture. haha. But we made some great memories.

One of my favorite memories has to be when we went to see Live play in Pomona at the fairgrounds about 2 1/2 weeks after we moved to LA. We first of all didn't know where Pomona was and took the wrong exit. Then we didn't realize we had to pay to park and also to get in to the fair even though we had free tickets to the show. We were late and had to run in cute shoes from the boonies of the parking lot. My tank top strap broke as we were in line and we had to figure out a way to "make it work" Tim Gunn style. Finally we arrived to pick up our tickets and passes...and they got Rada's last name wrong. No passes...doh! Luckily we found a familiar face and were taken to where we were supposed to be. That was our first night out in LA and we went to The Grafton and The Standard. Ah, the sunset strip. Ha. We were SUCH newbies. Chad greeted us with "Hey, I saw you guys...did you see me?!" Um, yeah--you were the one on stage holding the guitar. :) At The Standard a guy was realllly wanting to dance with Rada. But we were new and figured "safety in numbers" was a good motto to stick to. Both of us headed to the dance floor with our new friend Lawrence. Turns out it was a good choice as he was completely impressed that we were unemployed and moved to LA knowing no one. "You guys are DOING IT! That's AWESOME!!" was said about 10 times. Nice lil' ego boost. Ha, cracks me up even now to think about it.

Katie arrived in December and by that point I had had about 6 jobs. Now, to my credit--this was me working really hard to pay for my car insurance and rent and parking tickets. I'd wrecked my car 2 weeks in to living in LA and also accumulated numerous parking tickets (parking here is a nightmare and you literally have to read every detail to every street sign because each street has a different rule and possibly 6 different rules for different days). I was sooooo happy to finally have my sister out here with me!

But to explain more about the accident...here's a driving story for ya. So I am texting. And driving. Back in 2004 apparently this seemed ok. It's not. The traffic in front of me was moving...then it stopped. I stopped too. Just happened to stop because I ran into the car in front of me. Air bags deploy. Yellowy smelly powder fills my car and burns my thumb. Oh boo. Seriously?? I was also a block and half from my street. This car had only been mine for a year and some change. A few days later I am at the auto body shop getting some things out of my car and the State Farm assessment dude happens to be there too. He tells me they are going to total my car. And that the amount they are settling for is in fact less than what I still owe on the car. I am very upset and frustrated. I go out to my rental car and what do I see? A parking ticket. Boo!!!! I get in the car holding back tears and what is on the radio? Green Day "I walk alone"...that's it, I'm flat out bawling in my car saying to myself "I do walk alone...right now, I walk alone!" It was such a low frustrating point.

So all that to say...look how far I've come! I conquered this town! (With a lot of help from above and on earth :)). After a year and a half of thankless jobs including Starbucks (which I actually loved), a management job that ate my soul, a nanny job for a drug addict who bounced my paychecks, dog-walking for BabyDuck, personal assisting for a friend (aka fake auditioning as James Gandolfini for an episode of "The Sopranos" on tape) and anything else I could fit in (babysitting, organizing, manual labor...) I landed a job that I loved.

And that is the job that I am "leaving" in 2 days. Thankfully, my boss loves me. Hooray! And he doesn't want anyone else. So he is keeping me on as his personal assistant--in the bay area. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to do what I want (move) while still doing what I want (my job!).

My time in LA has been filled with....

**adventures

**one crazy landlord

**too many concerts to count--Viper Room, the roxy, the Palladium, the greek, the key club, the cat club, The Glasshouse, hotel cafe...ah so many great nights!

**brunch--Hugo's, Home, Figaro, The Farm at the Grove, urth...gonna miss you!

**coffee dates

**nights out with friends

**job upon job upon job

**band boys--The Ruse, scb...now known as echo echo

**celebrity sightings that after about 2 weeks became as common as the iced vanilla soy latte in my hand (although my Scott Speedman experience caused me to lose my ability to speak)

**phone progression--a sidekick, then a blackberry, then an iphone

**my first apartment all by myself

**2 tattoos

**a butthead

**The Griffin

**sister nights--most often involving coffee too and probably a show

**a Nissan Altima...then a Ford Focus...then a Nissan Altima

**a busted ankle

**K-town karaoke

**LOTS of driving

**a wonderful boy I love

**so many amazing memories...

To all of my LA friends and to my sister, I am excited for this new chapter, but I am going to miss you! Come visit! Just give me a teeny bit of time to unpack and make things cute! :)

To all my LA experiences (yes, experiences can now read...), I wouldn't be who I am without you and for that, I am so thankful. Even the bumpy days have brought me to where I am, and I'm so happy that I can't complain for one single second.