I was sitting by the pool at the gym a few weeks ago with my boyfriend and randomly asked him, "do you compare yourself to other guys very often?". He thought about it, and said "no, not really". I have often wondered about this and if it really is a female phenomenon. I know that personally I compare myself to those around me all the time even though I know I shouldn't. It just happens. Especially at the gym I look around and think, "ugh, her legs are soooo skinny!" and torment myself with unhealthy comparisons.
I honestly don't know why I do this so much. It is not a conscious thing. And I know it is not a good thing. What standard am I trying to live up to? Is it the Victoria's Secret model who barely has hip bones? Because if so, I am NEVER gonna get there. I looked in the mirror in the suite in English hall one day my sophomore year and realized I had hips. Ugh!! Why? Ha. But since then--no going back..I've got hips. Gotta live with it.
How good is good enough? Will I ever stop comparing myself if I am not consciously doing it to begin with? I'd like to try. In the last few months I have tried desperately to rid my life of negativity and to find the good in the situations around me. It is definitely not always easy. But I know these negative thoughts about myself and my body are not right.
So now I am standing up to make an effort to stop the thoughts before they are something I focus on. It is going to be hard. We are inundated with advertisements and models on magazine covers and celebrities claiming it is easy to lose baby weight (this is a bridge I have not crossed yet but I know it's not true unless you have full-time nannies and a personal trainer and a chef ;)).
I am who I am. I can tweak and adjust and maintain a healthy lifestyle. But I cannot buy a bone shaver and get rid of my hips even though I have day dreamed about it. So this is me. And I am going to try to look in the mirror with fresh eyes. Who is with me?
3 comments:
I am with you! I do not have hips, but I love yours :) and I wish I had a pair myself! I think it's only natural to want what we don't have or can't have. Love you.
I'm with you!
It's vital to accept the body you were given and try to keep it as healthy as possible. It makes you feel good mentally knowing that you try your hardest, while also acknowledging that usually others look the way they do because that's their body type as well and there are things about their body they aren't happy with. Somebody is always envying something about you, and you might not even appreciate what it is that you have!
As I've gotten older and now had a baby, thus changing my body even more, I've decided that 1) Everyone is beautiful in some way. The girl who is skinny wishes for curves, the girl with curves wishes she was skinny. So, embrace what you have and love it and work with it. Don't fight against it. The only standard you need to live up to is you. 2) Eat when you feel hungry. Stop when you feel full. Try to make your choices include lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains. 3) Exercise for health and a healthy goal like toned arms, a 5K, or holding your yoga poses for longer.
Bottom line: love yourself as you are and you'll stop comparing and be able to appreciate the beauty in others.
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