Jon and Kate plus hate

I've been thinking about this subject matter for awhile, but yesterday brought it to the forefront of my mind. As I waited in line at Rite-Aid there in front of me was a magazine with Kate Gosselin on the cover and a smaller photo of two of the kids looking sad. The caption was "those poor kids". Why is it "oh those poor kids..." in this situation more than the hundreds of thousands of kids whose parents get divorced every day? I think of this in a very personal way speaking (typing) from experience. Why do we talk about it so much when it is people we don't know and ignore it when it is people that we do?

When my parents got divorced in 1996 no one talked to me about it. In a time when I needed people the most, I didn't have anyone to talk to. I was 16 with two older sisters who were living far away from home--one in Alabama in college at Auburn, and one in Mississippi working and living life. In the "perfectly" bubbled environment of church and school, I felt like I couldn't rock the boat. I don't blame my 16 and 15 year old friends for not knowing what to say. A bummed out 16 year old girl isn't all that easy to understand. But where were the adults in my life? When I was hurting deeply, I was more worried about making other people uncomfortable by talking about our "situation." In some of the most traumatic weeks of my life I sucked it up and rallied through as we moved out of our house I'd lived in my whole life and in with my grandma and uncle. My dad was getting help and learning how to deal with life. My mom was for the first time realizing she didn't know how to do a lot of things but she had to do them (much like Kate is doing now I suppose as she's trying new things with the kids that Jon always did for her). In our instance it had more to do with finances and life than with adventure.

It is just hard looking back. When I really should have had some counsel, I was helping those around me ignore the problem and look the other way. Our situation didn't fit in. It went against the grain. Honestly apart from my mom not teaching at HHCS anymore, I am not sure anyone would have noticed the depth of what we were dealing with. I believe I am stronger because of all of the crap. There is no other word for what we went through. Well there are a few other ones, but crap covers it more politely. In retrospect, I think I may have studied psychology in college because I was trying to understand myself and what should have been available to me at 16. Being at Taylor didn't make it all better. Parent's weekend was always tough. Many kids at Taylor seemed to live these ideal lives where their parents held hands and walked around campus with them. I still felt pretty different. But I discovered more about me.

Am I upset for the 8 kids affected by Jon and Kate's divorce? Of course. They're little victims in this. Small people without a say. Divorce stinks whether you are 2 or 20, 5 or 50. Whether you are the divorcee or the children affected by it. It hurts everyone in different ways. But one thing I learned through my experience is that we should reach out to those IN OUR LIVES...not just get riled up about those on our tvs. Especially living in LA, I see daily how media takes tv and movie and reality stars and picks them apart as quickly as it lifted them up into their "star" status. The mighty have fallen in this situation and guess what...they get higher ratings! Great (sarcasm). The kids are hopefully going to have someone to talk to about how they are feeling. Someone neutral with whom they feel comfortable being open and honest, but every kid affected by divorce should have that. This is a wake-up call to people. Marriage is being hit hard everywhere and for quite awhile it's been exploited on television. P.s. don't do a reality show if you want to stay together. I think that much has become pretty obvious.

I just wish everyone cared a little more about the attainable people right next to them who are hurting. I wish churches (I think progress has been made in this area since 1996) didn't shun those who didn't ever want divorce to happen but who were affected anyway. I wish counseling wasn't seen as a weakness but was instead encouraged. I wish people around us had embraced my mom instead of making her feel alone and different. A few years ago Mom and I were talking on the phone about marriage. I told her something that she still quotes me on today. I said "Getting married is easy. I could get married tomorrow. Staying married is the hard part, and that's why I'm not in any rush." Reach out. Help someone. It can be as easy as asking someone how they are or giving them a hug. Don't get so caught up with the couple in Pennsylvania who (let's be honest) you won't ever meet. Look around you in your real life. Be nice.

I think that's all my brain can handle right now.

A Big Week in Hollywood

Saw this while leaving the airport after dropping my boss off.  Fitting, I thought.  Seriously though as I recall the awful jobs I had when I first got to LA I am really thankful that I am now a personal assistant with a boss I like!  That in itself is pretty monumental in this town. :)  

Since moving to Los Feliz I have walked up and down Franklin at least 100 times.  Never before had I noticed this teeny door in the side of someone's place.  We decided it was picture-worthy.  I have a theory that the neighborhood troll lives inside.  Cooper is boring and said it's probably just storage.  I like my theory better. ;)  

In other Hollywood news, lots of people died last week.  Three of those people were famous...Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson (in case you live under a rock and hadn't heard).  I was pretty repulsed by some friend's comments about these deaths.  I thought compassion was a good quality.  Sensitivity, thoughtfulness, sympathy, empathy.  Apparently making a joke at the expense of someone else who has passed away is more important for some.  I personally was grossed out at the lack of class.  Ok, so you aren't personally affected by the loss.  No problem.  Still don't think there need to be jokes made about death.  It's insensitive and as I said, gross.  

So, there.  I've said my piece and counted to three.  (Name that movie)

Another one bites the dust....

I sit here clinging to my singlehood...as a happily dating woman of 29. ;)  The last of my TU bffs tied the knot last Friday in a beautiful ceremony in Grand Rapids, MI.  Whenever our girls' weekends revolved around a wedding, it's a little less like a typical girls' weekend.

What's a girls' weekend usually like? Talking. Eating. Talking. Talking. Talking. More eating. We legitimately love to get together and chat about life and memories and what the future holds. And we like eating too. :) Mainly it's just a very relaxed 4-5 days where we get to take a step away from our lives and hang out like we did in college. So when it is centered around a wedding there is A LOT more activity than in a typical girls weekend. See what I mean. :)

In this case, my journey was....long. I took the red eye from LA on Tuesday night, landing in the FREEZING Chicago airport at 5 am, and then arriving in Indy at 9:15. The trip started off quite difficult for me. I am not a crabby person. It's just now how I am. I wake up happy. Ya, I know that could annoy people. Anyway...my mom had told me she would bring me a Concannon's donut at the airport. I wasn't going to be in Muncie a day that the bakery was open and these are a once a year (if I'm lucky) treat that all from Muncie-land know are worth their weight in gold! Well, when I landed (quite cranky from my 3 hours of plane sleep) I called my mom. She was running late. By a half hour. And she forgot my donut. I think my scowl was atrocious at that moment. Luckily it was just strangers in the airport who witnessed it. I was looking forward to that donut and my eyes were so droopy and tired and I just wanted to be picked up!! Boo.

In retrospect I didn't plan my trip all that well. We pretty much drove right up to Chicago on our way to Grand Rapids. Could've just had Mom pick me up at that airport. OH well. We had the time in the car to chat and catch up. The drive up was long. LOTS of construction and lanes closed. Once I was with my girls though, all was forgotten!!

Loved the car they drove away in...adorable. I like seeing how David looks at Katherine. It's fabulous and what every woman deserves. :) They have a sweet story. They went to high school together in South Bend, IN but didn't really hang out very much and definitely didn't date. Somehow at a wedding a couple years ago their paths crossed again and reconnected. And as they say, the rest is HISTORY. She was a beautiful bride. I'm not at all surprised because this is Katherine, my friend who can look dressed up and classy in a t-shirt. The bachelorette party was fun. Dinner and a boat cruise and fun presents for the bride. Rehearsal dinner was tapas and sangria. Yum. Wedding day = pink dresses, photos, gorgeous bride, sweet ceremony, fun party! David was pretty much adorable before Kat came down the aisle. He was puffing out his cheeks and letting out big breaths...looked like he was getting ready to run out for the big game. :) The whole church was cracking up. It was cute how nervous he was...but that good kind of nervous. :)

This girl is such a consistent presence in my life. It's so amazing to have a friend that you can count on. Just before I was leaving LA for her wedding she left me a very sweet voicemail just telling me how much it meant to her that I was coming all that way for her wedding (as if I would even CONSIDER missing it?!!! :)). She's one in a million, that's for sure.

This is what love looks like. Mr. and Mrs. Salinas posing for some photos at Frederick Gardens (we lucked out and it was literally 1 minute from our hotel). :) So glad we could all share in their special day and can't wait to see where life takes them!

Myrah and Truth

My nephew and niece love each other which is really great to see.  I think at this age my sisters and I still annoyed each other quite a bit.  I talked to my Mom and she said Myrah has really missed her brother this week.  He's been doing a church camp project called SERVE where they help out around Muncie.  But they'll get to hang out tonight when he's all done and they have their party in the parking lot at church!  I'm sure it will be a great reunion. :)

I hadn't seen the kids in 2 years (I know, I know...it killed me), but you'd never know it by how close we are.  I am so glad to know these little humans.  They are wonderful.  I still can't believe that Truth is already 13.  I still remember when I told someone he was 4 and he piped up "no, I'm 4 and 3 quarters!"  ha.  He is sweet and considerate and I can't wait to see the kind of man he grows up to be.  

Random spurts of words

Is it really almost summer?  I guess so.  In Mollywood, a lot has been happening.  Memorial Day weekend was glorious and felt much longer than 3 days (definitely a good thing!)  Went to Ventura again for the day and had a great time.  In TU girls news my friend Jess had her baby girl last night (a week and a half early) but she's big and healthy.  7 lbs. 2 oz...Claire Cameron Perkins. :)  Can't WAIT to meet her.

I'm aching to go on vacation.  Still trying to find a pink dress to wear to Katherine's wedding.  It's cool, I still have a whole 12 days.  Yikes.  Nothing like pressure.   

For the first time ever, Arthur jumped into the tub last night with no coaxing.  He was in the living room.  All I did was turn on the water to rinse out the tub for his bath and he was all of the sudden beside me and climbing in.  What a good boy. :)  

My boss did a magic trick for me at work today.  Shiny.  

That is all.  

More dog torment

My dog is such a good sport.  And he looks darn good in glasses, I've got to say.  I think the sunglasses make him look much cooler.  And of course it wouldn't be an Arthur picture without the tongue out or the snaggle tooth...or on a perfect day, BOTH! :)

My cute boyfriend and my cute animal posing in the newly painted green living room. :)

Florida trip, spontaneity, humidity, and clarity

About a month ago I was feeling a little ho-hum.

Ho-hum: (n) defined as a state of complacency, lack of excitement.

So I thought to myself, hmmm, what shall I do about this ho-hum-ingness? (Yes, that's totally a word).  Well, why not go to Ft Lauderdale and visit two of my favorite girls in all the world?  That is sure to cure my issues.  Booked a flight, and off I went a couple weeks later.  

In college, I had kind of a rough freshman year.  I didn't have the connections in friendship that I had in high school and I was in a long-distance (um, Upland to Muncie...;)) relationship with my boyfriend from high school who I didn't get to see all that often.  I toughed it out and ventured into my sophomore year relationship-free and ready to tackle the world.  My new wing had a fun freshman named Katy and we connected right away based on our mutual quoting of the movie Clueless and having the same tank top. (deep deep connections!) :)  Katy was from Ft Lauderdale and pretty early on in the year she decided to start planning a Spring Break trip to her house and invited her favorite girls she'd met so far.  Who knew that her little plan would create life-long friendships?  

We all knew of each other but didn't know each other that well.  If we were going to spend 8 days together we figured that should be remedied and started having planned dinner dates in the DC, all 6 of us.  The rest is history....

Katy still lives in Ft Lauderdale and now has two adorable children, one of which I hadn't met yet.  Here he is...the adorable JAMEN. (posing with his Aunt Kat)

Kat moved down to Florida just this year after spending 2 years in Honduras and another few in Chicago.  She's getting married in June and her fiancee is in FL, so all the pieces just kind of came together.  Because we were both single (and now both are not..interesting) we became very close after college.  I still talk to her at least twice a week and sometimes more.  So great to be able to see both Katy and Kat in one place!  Here is a pic of the 3 of us at dinner during my visit.  We all got the same meal too...ha.  

Kaia is Katy and Aaron's spunky almost 4 year old.  She had some of the greatest quotes during my visit.  I took the red-eye out of LA so I was not looking my best my first day there...serious Sporty Spice outfit and ponytailed hair. :)  I played with Kaia all day and then hopped in the shower and changed for dinner.  When I was all ready, a couple of Kaia's friends were over and she wanted to introduce me.  She said "this is molly.....but she....got different." :)  Guess me being clean equalled a big change for her. :)  Here she is after we picked her up from school.  
Another funny Kaia-ism...just after this picture above was taken, one of her little friends came up to Katy and asked if the two of them could have a playdate.  Katy said "sure, but not today.  Have your mom call me."  She said "ok" and ran down the hallway towards her dad and siblings.  We were almost out the door when Kaia turned back and shouted "WHAT'S YOUR PHONE NUMBER???!!!!"  It sounded hilarious.  Like she was going to put the whole playdate together on her own. :)

Jamen was a constant source of entertainment.  He had just discovered how to clap this month so it was his favorite activity.  Every time he cracked himself up and in turn, we'd all end up laughing at his cuteness.  Kaia is a great big sister and considers Jamen to be her baby.  Katy's friend Heather had her new baby girl Eliyah over to visit and when she was crying I asked Kaia if she wanted to go comfort her.  Kaia said "no, that's baby Eliyah...she's not mine."  So funny.  
All in all it was a great trip, a good refresher.  I still don't like Florida.  It is SO humid and I've gotten really spoiled in LA.  We get the nice hot weather without so much sweating. :)  But my time with Katy and Kat, Aaron and David, Kaia and Jamen (and my boss' mom Ruth!) was wonderful.  This week has been a good one being back home.  Life is good.