Communicate or seal our fate

I've been thinking about this since my birthday and probably a bit before. It ties in to the friendship post that I wrote quite awhile ago..http://molldawgla.blogspot.com/2008/11/friendship-phases.html

I have always been a good communicator--I like to talk to my friends. This year, I was a bit sad at all the friends who didn't acknowledge my birthday. In this day and age when you see there in your little sidebar "Molly Taylor's birthday--Today" on facebook, it really is super easy to say a quick hello and happy birthday. I'm not huge on birthdays in general. Didn't grow up having big elaborate parties. Because KT and I have bdays 6 days apart we usually did a small party at our house with our grandparents and homemade cake. I think the reason it hit me hard this year to not hear from people is that I was able to take a step back and analyze what that really means. Let's say a friend rarely calls you. If they don't call you or acknowledge you on the day of your birth it is pretty safe to say that you are not on their mind much in their life. That's a hard realization.

I have a really hard time letting people go...still. I read a book recently that has really helped me decipher my reactions.

There is a whole section in there about letting people go when you have a one-sided relationship and how that can be really difficult. I'm really not trying to be overly sensitive here. At the same time, a couple of these friends I am thinking of in particular said happy birthday to others a couple days later and I see that they will write personal messages to people but not to me. One friend claims "Ahh, I just hate talking on the phone" but then I will see a message saying "so great to catch up with you today on the phone!" ha. Um, ok. :) I get it. Friendships take work. Especially when you become long-distance as life takes us in different directions and different states. And maybe some of those friendships weren't as solid as I thought that they were.

Nowadays, a lot of my friendships are peripheral. I "see" them on facebook and send messages and comments. But the ones that really mean the world to me are the ones who make an effort. The friends that make me feel like I am a priority in their life and that once a month or so they really want to talk to me. :) I always want to be that type of friend to the people in my life. However there will come that day when I will put my banana phone in its holster and stop calling. For my own well-being.