I have been thinking about friendship as I sit here on this plane heading to Chicago to see my girls for our weekend (obviously, I am not currently sitting on the plane...but this is what I wrote as I was...). I seem to think about this quite often and write about it too, I suppose. But I think friendship is one of the most important gifts we have been given in this life.
True intimacy in relationships doesn't just happen. It takes work...but it can be so incredibly rewarding. Personally, I won't settle for surface relationships. Life is too short to not share who you really are with those you care about.
Our first spring break trip together--1999! Ft Lauderdale, FL
The friends I am headed to see have known me since I was 19. What a difference a decade can make (ok, ok, a decade plus 2)! But what I have learned you HAVE to do to keep that solid connection is that you have to stay CURRENT. Talking about the past, reminiscing, etc. are great, don't get me wrong. But that alone isn't enough to maintain a friendship through the years. You have to know about each other's lives NOW. As people we change daily. Thinking your friends stay exactly the same is completely unrealistic. Look in the emotional mirror and then let your friends fill you in on how they've grown up too.
Moving around like I have, I have had to make new friends quite a bit. When I first moved to LA, it felt as if the people I was meeting played "hard to get." People seemed gun shy or hurt by past friendships and relationships. This made it so much harder to go deeper with people. But one thing being at TU taught me was that community is crucial to life. It makes sense that we protect our hearts, but not at the expense of getting to know people.
Singing Backstreet Boys with complete choreography is a blast. Quoting "10 Things I hate About you"...also fun. But so is just sitting around, getting my girls' input on things I am struggling with. I have friends that I desperately want to be close with, but maybe they don't know how good it can be to be open and share who you are. And that holds us back from really truly connecting. It makes me sad that some people I know haven't let themselves have friendships like the ones I am blessed to have.
All I can say is that it's worth it. Push yourself and realize life can be fulfilling when you have people who know the real you doing life alongside you (even if they are thousands of miles away). So thankful for my friends! Girls, you challenge me and love me. It's priceless to know that I have you in my life.
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