Another year, and I'm still here

I'm 31. Wait, that can't be right, can it? Ya, I guess it is. Born in 1980...31 in 2011.

This year was low-key and nice. We always did little bdays growing up. Mom would make a cake shaped like whatever we wanted and our grandparents would come over. Because KT and I have bdays 6 days apart we always celebrated together. This year, Mom mailed me the tablecloth she embroidered with all my cakes over the years.

The only cake I have a clear memory of is the 3 carrots when I turned...you guessed it, 3! :) I think KT had a rabbit so my carrots went along with that theme. We took the cakes to Grandma Gerty and Boppa's house to celebrate. Before I'd blown my candles out (honestly I don't think they'd even been lit yet), my Uncle Bob ate one of my carrots. THE WHOLE THING! I was inconsolable. For a 3 year old, that was probably one of the worst things an adult could do. I remember saying to my mom, "But I'm not 2, I'm 3! 2 carrots doesn't work." Bad move, Bob...bad move. Obviously I've gotten over it 28 years later. Ha.

I like this quote about age:

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

-Billie Burke, actress

or

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

-Mark Twain

Life is happy, and even when it's not, I am happy. There is love all around me...just like in Love Actually. :) Just look at the tiny snowman C made in Tahoe. Seconds after this photo, I was viciously hit with aforementioned snowman. :)

This hat was for sale in the grocery store. We did not buy it. But doesn't it look smashing?

Beautiful Tahoe. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I will never tire of looking at mountains as a kid raised in the land of flat (aka Indiana). They are amazing and breathtaking.

A boy and his dog. The water was gorgeous. C almost fell in when a pile of rocks he was playing on slid. But he jumped to safety and remained dry. :)

dinner out at a new restaurant with some friends. The waitress botched the cake surprise, but we still had a great time!

Boundaries or the lack thereof

I am reading this book, and it has been a big eye-opener for me. I was taught many things as a child and young adult, but I was not taught that having boundaries isn't a bad thing. I think I viewed boundaries as closing yourself off, not being open, being unfriendly. Soooo not the case. In fact, I have done myself a severe disservice by not having the right boundaries in place with friends, family, and relationships over the years. Now as I'm older, I feel like I'm resetting myself and there is no quick reset button. But it feels good to learn about it. I recommend it to anyone who realizes they have unrealistic expectations in relationships or feel that they aren't getting their needs met. Maybe the other person has NO idea what those needs are. This is also written by Christian authors, so it comes from a Biblical viewpoint which I found to be helpful.

Had I known about all of this earlier (in high school, for instance), I do not think I would have stayed in such an unhealthy relationship. My ego was so busted (not good grammar, I know, but it fits) by the end of that relationship when I was 19 that it has only just now been rebuilt. Seeing what a healthy relationship is has allowed me to see how incredibly unhealthy that high school situation was. I saw my value in how "he" treated me--obviously I wasn't worth much. Oh how I wish I could hug my little high school self sometimes and say, "Move on! There is someone so much better for you out there." Instead I hung on fearfully trying to make it work for 3 1/2 years.

I also place these expectations on my friends. Sometimes "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" can bite you in the booty. It is not that doing things a certain way is bad....it is that those friends do not realize you expect certain things from them. Your example is not enough to get the identical response. We always tell kids who are whining or crying, "use your words!" Well, maybe we need to do that more as adults too.

One point made in the book struck a chord with me. I'm paraphrasing--In the process of setting up healthy boundaries, you may lose some people in your life. But you may also realize that those relationships were gone already.

To me that made me turn inward and reevaluate some of my friendships. As we get older and move further from one another (some of us---some of us stay put...me, I can't stay put), this gets harder. We can't just stop in or grab a cup of coffee together. Friendship takes effort. A phone call can make up for the months of months of not seeing one another. A call back could mean the world to someone. I understand that communication is a HUGE deal to me and is not to some people. If I don't make those needs known, then I am my own worst enemy.

So this is me challenging myself to spend the next few months (or years...we'll see) finding that reset button and only "settling" for healthy relationships. I shall be the master of my domain.

I recommend this book and would love to talk to anyone about it who has an interest.

Been a long time, glad to see your face....

I have been MIA in the blogging world. It's been a pretty complicated couple of months as a dogmother. It sounds weird, but that's what I am.

In my last post, we were hoping that Art didn't have to have surgery. That was not the case unfortunately. We had gone to 3 different vet offices for 4 visits total by the time it was diagnosed properly. The last vet visit was HORRIBLE. Art was not on any pain meds, and the vet pulled his neck up to strain it to the point that my doggie yelped and yelped and yelped and started shaking. It was awful. Finally Cooper said, "Can you give him a shot of something for pain? He is not on anything right now." It was NOT going to be the doctor for us after that, that's for sure. Through a recommendation, we went to really amazing doctor (who we all loved, Art included). There was even a big painting of a boxer in the waiting room which I took as a great sign. :) They sent us to another office to get an MRI done of the neck. Poor loopy Art was so funny. We were in the recovery room with him as he came to and he would randomly lift his head with his tongue completely out and look around with this super confused face. It was adorable and kind of heart-wrenching at the same time.

After the good doc looked at the MRI it was clear to all of us that Art needed surgery. He had a ruptured disc in his spine. I was worried but also relieved. It was so frustrating to not know what was wrong and to know that he was in intense pain that caused him to yelp randomly. Below is the MRI---the spinal cord was being pushed on with all that excess material from the rupture disc.

We scheduled the surgery for the next day. He had to stay over night (sadness..didn't know that until I dropped him off). The next day was my first day at a new nanny job so I couldn't even go to pick up the doggie. When C went to get him, they told him that they wanted to keep an eye on him longer. Cue me being stressed. Turns out that when he was coming out of the anesthesia, his heart started racing to the point of almost stopping. The doctor told me "he tried to die." Scary. :( Thankfully they got him back and calmed down. Cooper had the nurse take his iphone to the back and snap a picture of Art so I could at least see that he was ok. 10 boyfriend points for that.

He came home and within a couple of days was back to normal....so amazing how animals do that. He did however (because my dog can't do anything about his poor tongue length) have chapped tongue. Haha. I think it had been sticking out for 48 hours and it was all dry. We used a syringe to try to get some moisture on it. Hilarious.

He makes every day happy for me, and that is the reason I did not care that this was an expensive surgery with expensive tests. I love him. He is worth every penny...even the ones I spent this week on his dental surgery. Sigh. Art, you are a lucky pup! This is us on Thanksgiving morning. I was feeling very thankful to have my buddy home and healthy!