I did it again...

I have this habit of taking out my debit card and putting it in my back pants pocket when I just don't feel like carrying a purse. I did this last night for dinner with the boy. Picked up the mail, and ran in for a quick coffee this morning and opened my wallet to realize that my debit card is still in my jeans' pocket. Boo!

I told the manager at Starbucks, Carlos (who knows my drink and was already in the process of making it) that I had to go try to find my card and ran to my car to get quarters. I know, I know---pathetic, right? But COFFEE WAS A MUST. So I came back in with my quarters and he laughed at me and said I didn't need to pay. My drink was ready and I thanked him profusely.

By the door, I turned around and said, "If I'd known it was going to be free, I would have ordered the lobster latte!" He laughed. Thanks, Carlos!

Just call me Grace

I am clumsy. I'm not going to "grow out of it" seeing as I'm now 30 and still as clumsy as ever. Somehow even though I've had my car for almost 2 years I will randomly allow the door to slam shut on my shin as I'm getting out. I have also managed to hit my shoulder on the pointy top part of my driver's side door. This morning I parked in the garage at work because of street sweeping and had 2 boxes, mail, my purse, a bag, and a coffee. I thought I had it all handled and went to pick up my coffee from the top of the trunk. It was on its side. Sigh. Half a latte down the drain (more like down the back of my car and on the driveway).

When these things happen, I often talk to myself. "Really, Molly?!!" is a favorite. Sometimes I just wish I'd learned a little grace. But I was a swimmer, not a dancer. Guess I'm graceful in the water...or I used to be. ;)

Addendum

As I was thinking about that last post, I realized maybe I needed to clarify things a little bit so as to not sound bitter. I had a WONDERFUL birthday weekend this year. It was the big 3-0 so I wanted to enjoy my time with the people in my life.

I got a lot of amazing voicemails on my birthday as I wandered around the city of Solvang with Cooper. Since moving to LA, my long-distance friendships have become very dear to me. My connection with my Taylor Univ. girls is so special. And they each called and texted to tell me how important I am to them. There were many messages from friends and family. I don't mean to focus on the negative this way, but I guess it did strike a chord as I realized that some friendships really are non-existent in my life now.

When you sit and think about it, if a friend doesn't know anything about your life anymore and doesn't ever call you back it's not a current friendship. There are those rare situations where you have a "pick up where you left off" kind of friend. Those are to be treasured. I have some childhood friends that are that way with me. And that is precious.

Life is too short to chase people. But it's not too short for my dog to continually attempt to chase his nub of a tail. ;)

Communicate or seal our fate

I've been thinking about this since my birthday and probably a bit before. It ties in to the friendship post that I wrote quite awhile ago..http://molldawgla.blogspot.com/2008/11/friendship-phases.html

I have always been a good communicator--I like to talk to my friends. This year, I was a bit sad at all the friends who didn't acknowledge my birthday. In this day and age when you see there in your little sidebar "Molly Taylor's birthday--Today" on facebook, it really is super easy to say a quick hello and happy birthday. I'm not huge on birthdays in general. Didn't grow up having big elaborate parties. Because KT and I have bdays 6 days apart we usually did a small party at our house with our grandparents and homemade cake. I think the reason it hit me hard this year to not hear from people is that I was able to take a step back and analyze what that really means. Let's say a friend rarely calls you. If they don't call you or acknowledge you on the day of your birth it is pretty safe to say that you are not on their mind much in their life. That's a hard realization.

I have a really hard time letting people go...still. I read a book recently that has really helped me decipher my reactions.

There is a whole section in there about letting people go when you have a one-sided relationship and how that can be really difficult. I'm really not trying to be overly sensitive here. At the same time, a couple of these friends I am thinking of in particular said happy birthday to others a couple days later and I see that they will write personal messages to people but not to me. One friend claims "Ahh, I just hate talking on the phone" but then I will see a message saying "so great to catch up with you today on the phone!" ha. Um, ok. :) I get it. Friendships take work. Especially when you become long-distance as life takes us in different directions and different states. And maybe some of those friendships weren't as solid as I thought that they were.

Nowadays, a lot of my friendships are peripheral. I "see" them on facebook and send messages and comments. But the ones that really mean the world to me are the ones who make an effort. The friends that make me feel like I am a priority in their life and that once a month or so they really want to talk to me. :) I always want to be that type of friend to the people in my life. However there will come that day when I will put my banana phone in its holster and stop calling. For my own well-being.

Music and memories

One of my favorite college memories has to do with a rainy afternoon leaving a class in Reade (or the Weade Memowial Wibewal Awts Centew) as we liked to call it.

Honestly if you asked me to name who was present, I couldn't tell you, but I do know that a guy in front of me in the hall was leaving a different class and started humming "The River" by Garth Brooks. Then he started singing it. I joined in quietly. We walked down the stairs and a couple people behind us started singing along. By the time we got to the door to go outside it was like a trail of people singing about how a dreamer is just a vessel and how we're gonna keep sailing till the river runs dry. I've always liked the lyrics of this song but this memory makes me smile whenever it pops into my head. I wonder if anyone else remembers this--either way, I liked our impromptu sing-along. Just another reason to love Taylor. :) And a special thanks to Garth Brooks too!

THE RIVER

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry

Turn that frown upside down

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

I deal with people in my job all day long. This isn't because I work with a lot of people in a big office. I work with two people--one other assistant and the housekeeper. But because I'm a personal assistant, I'm running around the crazy town that is Los Angeles, and I run into people constantly (preferably not while driving...although that does happen sometimes!).

I have learned in my 5 1/2 LA years that a smile goes a long way. How is it that in one of the worst parking lots in LA (tiny shopping center, southwest corner of Wilshire/Highland) I can park wherever I want to? It's because I have smiled and waved at the parking attendant every day for 4 years as I pull in to check our mail at the PO Box. It's one hour parking. He doesn't care if I stay for 2 hours at Starbucks. Ha. I'm not saying I try to manipulate people--just saying that being friendly really goes a LONG way in a town where most people put up their guard, put their head down, and mow over anyone in their path to get to where they need to go that day (also happens sometimes while driving ;)).

At our accountant's office--same thing. There is a parking attendant who helps move the cars around as they park them 3 deep. Everyone has to give him their key as they go up to one of the 10 floors in the building. Not me. I get to take mine with me and park wherever I want to. Did I do anything special? Nope. I smiled. Lots of days. And one day, he said 'oh, hi--no, no, take your key. I know you."

I think that's just it. Smiling here sets people apart. There are probably many people that smile. But it surprises people to see it when there are also so many who don't.

So, for now, I will try to stay optimistic. And keep smiling. Because there is a lot of good and I've got two parking attendants on my side now because of it!

When life gives you lemons....

Make a soy latte and smile. (or something)

So awhile ago I put up a status update on facebook about people being completely negative. It really grates on me when day after day people continually talk about all the crap in their lives. We all have bad days. I get that. It happens. But I wrote this particular status because there are some people I am "friends" with on facebook who literally NEVER post anything positive. I am not into zen thinking or anything, but I have to believe that if you only focus on the negative things in your life you are not going to land in a positive place.

For example, in a given week I've read: fill in the blank with whoever's name

".....should have just stayed in bed"

"....has yet another headache today--I hate my life"

"....is sick yet again"

"....wishes that something would go right"

"....hates my job"

I could go on and on and on. I live in LA. It is reeeeeally way too easy to get bogged down here sometimes. Even just in my commute to work. I'll leave my house thinking "today is going to be a good day!" and by the time I've driven 15 minutes I have honked 5 times, almost been hit by a bus, and had to avoid 3 near-collisions. It can be hard to remain in that positive way of thinking. But we've got to try, right?

And another point--if you aren't making any changes to make things better then you really can't complain. I am sure some people in my life reading this are now thinking that I'm guilty of that . :) I've tried to get better. Positive change yields positive thinking. Stress is a part of life. But maybe take a step back--especially now during Thanksgiving week and think about all of the good in your life! I am sure that there is a lot if that is what you choose to focus on. :)

Onward and upward!